Winter Heartbreaks

The snow fell lightly on the ground, coating the earth with a thin layer of whalebone-white. Winter’s lacerating hurricanes and whining winds had come and gone, leaving a terrible calmness. I looked at his face. His black hair was dotted softly with snowflakes, and his slow, steady breathing produced small puffs in the cold air. We held eye contact for a while, until he dropped his gaze, and my heart felt a wrench. “I… I don’t know how to respond to this. I’m really thankful you told me – it must have been difficult for you to hang on for so long. You’ve always been really nice, so… Can we stay as friends?” There it was. The moment that I had been dreading since I decided on confessing to him. I knew this was coming, but it still hurt. I could feel a dull, physical ache in my chest where my heart was still beating. Snow continued to fall – freezing this moment, making time go by so slowly as the pain edged through my nerves to the tingles in my fingers. His cheeks were slightly red from the cold, and his light blue scarf was wrapped around his neck tightly. “I’m sorry, I – I don’t know why I told you this, I don’t know why I had to say it, I should have just kept it in for the past four years, I just needed to let you know, and now I’m being a burden and I – “ He suddenly grabbed my wrist, and it was as if electricity shot up through my arm. His hand felt so warm, yet so cold. “I’m sorry. Wait, don’t go. I just think that you deserve someone better.” I laughed a hollow laugh as I quickly brushed away the tears that were starting to form on my cheeks. “There’s no one better. I told you. I've loved you for years even though I knew there was no reciprocation.” “I’m not a good person, if you haven’t realised.” “You just don’t see how good you are.” He sighed. My heart was as cold as the barren winter wasteland that seemingly stretched out for eternity around us. I just was not good enough. Just not good enough for someone like him. I watched as the last leaf fell to the ground from a thin, wiry tree nearby. He dropped my wrist, and my hand fell back to my side. “If you need me for anything, I’ll still be here, okay?” I nodded, choking up with tears and grief until I could not mutter a single word. He knew I was crying, but no longer made any effort to comfort me or hold me in his embrace. Instead, he turned around, and started walking away. The sound of his boots crunching as he treaded on the powdered snow rang loudly in my ears. Soon, he was out of earshot, and the world around me imposed a glair-white silence. I looked up at the ghostly white moon hanging in the sky, a silvery orb emitting a pale strobe light. Looking upon his footsteps, my heart ached for his existence, for his warmth, but I knew that there was no scar that time could not heal.